No Offense, but We Really Don't Care

A Father's Love

A father's love is meant to be unconditional, safeguarding, nurturing, and transformative, embodying both human compassion and divine love. For a daughter, her dad sets the bar: not only giving her love, guidance, and support, but also treating her mother with respect and compassion.

My grandfathers were both incredible men. I’m not saying they were flawless, and I’m pretty sure they had their wild days, but that doesn’t change the fact that they were great husbands, fathers, and grandfathers. Without them, I really don’t think I would appreciate men at all. I came by my apprehensions honestly, with a dad who left me - just me, not my sisters; a stepdad who was an abusive alcoholic, whose love I only had until someone convinced him that, as a stepdaughter, I didn’t matter and didn’t deserve his love; and a mom who has her own issues and became a bitter, man-hating person, always trying to control her kids in any way she can.

Generational Curse

My generation, known as GenX, was at a crucial moment in how society reacted to the women's movement. A lot of our grandparents immigrated from their home countries or were the first in their families to be born in America, still holding onto traditional values. Their children, our parents, were brought up with those same beliefs, even as new and confusing influences started to take over.

Women found they no longer had to stay in marriages. In fact, they didn't even have to marry if they didn't want to. For men, this meant that women were opting to be under the authority of a boss instead of a husband. They never stopped to think about what their roles, as well as those of their fathers and grandfathers, might have been, which created the demand for change.

Ultimately, we grew up in a world where men were taught to expect everything without having to take responsibility, while women were held accountable for everything. It was like kids being set free in a candy store, leading to a lot of confusion and chaos: there was too much of everything, and everyone was just focused on their own needs. We found ourselves in homes with parents who were more interested in their own pleasures, almost like they weren't there at all; we had to raise ourselves and each other without any solid role models from either gender.

Food For Thought

If women were really treated well and cared for, then why did so many of them risk everything just to gain basic human rights?

If the roles of men and women are decided by a higher power, how did so many people unite to create change? (See Balance and Harmony)

Right now, we can only make guesses and form our opinions based on our own experiences, the tales of our ancestors, and even then, we can never truly know.

Wrap Up

The purpose of the movement has been misunderstood because of how the media, government, and big businesses have twisted it. Men often avoid their responsibilities or won't admit any fault in broken homes and relationships. Meanwhile, women are left to handle the leftover duties, whether they want to or not, because they still lack the basic right to make their own choices. Men keep demanding everything without facing any consequences, while women are held completely responsible. That's why women have figured out how to be independent and not rely on men.

For those of us who gave up our careers for our families, we spent the best income-generating years of our lives, only to have our husbands overlook their failures as partners and dads. They shamed and blamed us when they decided to cheat, be abusive, or leave. While we were the good women that men say are hard to find, they were busy creating new lives instead of honoring their promises.

When we reach our 40s and 50s, many of us were forced to start entry-level careers to build financial security. We want to make sure our kids won’t have to face the responsibilities their dad should have taken care of for the woman who supported him through everything. The same woman he later grumbled about, saying she wanted half of what was rightfully theirs. So, for those of us with daughters, nieces, and other young girls in our lives, we decided to teach them how to be independent and steer clear of the problems we encountered.

Just as evolution comes after a revolution, misinformation and misunderstandings can result in wrong conclusions. Currently, neither men nor women are willing to accept responsibility for their actions, but life still happens. Rather than just inflating our own egos, we should prioritize learning to value and love ourselves first; we must dedicate time to forming relationships with others and closing the gaps. It's time for all of us to step up and demonstrate a better way to communicate, show respect, and collaborate together.

Make no mistake, no level of bullying or trickery will make us give up and just follow orders. Even if men doubt us, we are totally happy in our cozy spaces after a long day of work, relaxing with our pets. As long as the other option means we have to forget about our needs, dreams, and mental health, we will choose peace.

We won't let anyone push us around or make us feel small. We know what we want and deserve, and we will keep enjoying our lives, no matter what others think.