Illumination After the Dark
I drew up our divorce papers, we negotiated then signed off on them. Three months to the day from his final betrayal of me, the Magistrate determined we didn't even need a final hearing if we agreed that day since the papers were so thorough and equitable. I was relieved because the thought of coming back, for a final hearing, as I stood next to him doing everything I could not to cry, was unbearable.
I had no interest in dating at that point. Our son was in his junior year of high school; I had to find a decent job and frankly, I knew I needed to heal. The universe had other plans for me.
About two months after my divorce was final, I got a Facebook message from the first "boy" I ever kissed. For the next two years, we were inseparable. He treated me special, important and wanted. I never felt so safe with anyone before him. And in the blink of an eye, I lost him to heart failure. And for the first time, in my life, I realized "someone always gets left" -divorce, death ...someone always gets left hurting.
For the next 2-1/2 years, I focused on my life and my healing journey. When I finally felt ready to date again, I was thrown into the culture-shock of the dating GenX population - dating apps. For a generation of people that raised themselves; regularly slept outdoors (not camping -just outdoors) after telling their parents they were staying at someone else's house; bonfires, football games and just plain roaming this was truly an abomination. But we muddle as best as we can.
I've made some new friends but honestly, it would have been easier if I'd just had the mental information on how my ex-husband treated me, to trade up from. Jim showed me how a man who truly cares about me should treat me and I'm not willing to trade down ever again.
Thank you Universe ..and thank you Jim for everything. I'm honored that I got to be your first and last kiss in this life.
Comments